For example, a teen girl might try cutting because her boyfriend cuts. Group peer pressure can play a role too. Some teens cut in groups and might pressure others to cut. A teen might give in to group pressure to try cutting as a way to seem cool or bold, to belong, or to avoid social bullying.
Any of these factors may help to explain why a particular teen cuts. But each teen also has unique feelings and experiences that play a role.
Some who cut might not be able to explain why they do it. Regardless of the factors that may lead a teen to self-injure, cutting isn't a healthy way to deal with even the most extreme emotions or pressures. Some teens call attention to their self-injury. Or if the SI requires medical attention, that might be a way others find out. But many teens cut for a long time before anyone else knows. Some teens eventually tell someone about their self-injury — because they want help and want to stop, or because they just want someone to understand what they're going through.
It can take courage and trust to reach out. Many teens hesitate to tell others because they fear being misunderstood or worry that someone might be angry, upset, disappointed, shocked, or judgmental. Some teens confide in friends, but ask them not to tell. This can create burden and worry for a friend who knows. If confronted about the cutting, teens can respond in different ways, depending partly on the teen and partly on the how they were approached by it.
Some might deny the cutting, while others might admit to it, but deny that it's a problem. Some might get angry and upset or reject efforts to help.
Some teens are relieved that someone knows, cares, and wants to help. Whether or not anyone else knows or has tried to help, some teens cut for a long time before they try to stop. Teens whose cutting is part of another mental health condition usually need professional help.
Sometimes cutting or another symptom leads to a teen's admission to a mental health hospital or clinic. Some teens have more than one hospital stay for self-injury before they feel ready to accept help for cutting or other problems.
Some teens find a way to stop cutting on their own. This might happen if a teen finds a powerful reason to stop such as realizing how much it hurts a friend , gets needed support, or finds ways to resist the powerful urge to cut.
To stop cutting, a person also needs to find new ways to deal with problem situations and regulate emotions that feel overwhelming. This can take time and often requires the help of a mental health professional. It can be difficult to stop cutting and a teen might not succeed at first. Some people stop for a while and then start cutting again. It takes determination, courage, strength — as well as support from others who understand and care — to break this powerful habit.
Larger text size Large text size Regular text size. What Is Cutting? Teens cut for many different reasons: Powerful overwhelming emotions. Bringing a Halt to Cutting Whether or not anyone else knows or has tried to help, some teens cut for a long time before they try to stop. Validate their feelings and express concern that they must be feeling really bad if they are hurting themselves. Identify activities your teen can do when they feel the urge to hurt themselves.
Calling a friend, going for a walk, or drawing are just a few possible activities that could help your teen express their feelings in a healthier way.
Take steps to change your teens' self-harming behavior. Talk to your child's pediatrician to gain a referral to a therapist. A mental health professional can teach your teen healthier ways to regulate their emotions.
Help your teen create a list of people to talk to. Talking to trusted friends and family can help them cope with stress and reduce their self-injury. Make a list of caring adults your teen can reach out to, such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle, friends' parents, or neighbors that your teen can confide in. Be patient with your teen.
Self-harming behavior takes the time to develop and will take the time to change. It is ultimately up to the teen to make the choice to help themselves.
With early identification, support from their family, and professional assistance, they can successfully stop self-harming. Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter. National Alliance on Mental Illness. Family-based risk factors for non-suicidal self-injury: Considering influences of maltreatment, adverse family-life experiences, and parent-child relational risk. J Adolesc. The longitudinal course of non-suicidal self-injury and deliberate self-harm: a systematic review of the literature.
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These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. You might feel hurt that your teen didn't come to you for help or feel guilty that you didn't know about it. All of these emotions are completely understandable. But it's not your fault, and it's not your teen's fault.
Take time to identify your own feelings and find a way to express them. This might mean having a good cry, talking with a friend, or going for a walk to let off steam or quietly reflect. If you feel overwhelmed, talking with a therapist can help you sort things through and gain some perspective so that you can provide the support your teen needs.
Learn all you can about cutting. Find out all you can about cutting, why teens do it, and what can help them stop. Some teens cut because of peer pressure — and once they start, they can't easily stop. Other teens feel pressure to be perfect and struggle to accept failures or mistakes. And still others contend with powerful moods like anger, sadness, worthlessness, and despair that feel hard to control or too heavy to bear.
Cutting is sometimes the result of trauma and painful experiences that no one knows about. It can hurt to think that your child might experience any of these feelings. As difficult as it is, try to keep in mind that exploring what pressures prompt your teen to self-injure is a necessary step toward healing.
Talk to your child. It can be hard to talk about such a painful topic. You may not know what you're going to say. That's OK. What you say won't be nearly as important as how you say it. To open the conversation, you might simply say that you know about the cutting, and then convey your concern, love, and your willingness to help your child stop.
It will probably be hard for your teen to talk about it, too. He or she might feel embarrassed or ashamed, or worried about how you'll react or what the consequences might be. You can help ease these worries by asking questions and listening to what your teen has to say without reacting with punishment, scolding, or lectures. Let your teen know that cutting is often related to painful experiences or intense pressures, and ask what difficult issues your teen may be facing.
Your teen might not be ready to talk about it or even know why he or she cuts. Even if that's the case, explain that you want to understand and find ways to help. Don't be surprised if your teen resists your efforts to talk about cutting. He or she might deny cutting, get angry or upset, cry, yell, or storm off.
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